I got an email from a couple friends of mine the other day. They're actually a couple and they both led my Saturday morning small group this last semester. It was sweet and kind and heartfelt, and I gushed over being loved and appreciated. An affirmation of our friendship. I felt warm and pleasant and all I'd been looking for for the past few months...
Today I finalized plans to visit my far away friend, Amy. She's a wonderful friend and we've been close ever since we shared a room and a housekeeping job together in Daytona Beach a couple years back. She's one of those fabulous relationships that is mostly over the phone, so there's not a lot being held back with her. Well, almost nothing. I spoke with her tonight for the first time since getting my cell phone stolen and I didn't tell her about how I've been getting - no, bolting - further away from God by the minute, and getting more complacent about the whole thing. A particular soft part of me feels as if I should be open about this to my friends. But embarassment and reserve keep me from saying anything to anyone. How long can I keep this under wraps? How long until this distance becomes ridiculously obvious and starts impacting every facet of my life? Probably not long. I won't be able to get through a whole weekend with Amy without her thinking something is weird or amiss. Like the fact that I won't be praying, or avoiding the subject of God in general. We met on a missions trip so God will no doubt be on subject. And then I'm getting coffee with a Crusade staff member the following week that was on that project too.
It's as if God were trying to get to me... if only I could throw off this complacency.
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