I realized last night after work - and this morning after some very innapropriate dreams - that I'm pursuing some unrighteous things. I need to take some steps back. For instance, I'm pretty sure I have fluttery feelings for a kid at work. I don't have any conviction about his salvation though, and I know pursuing anything besides light friendship would not be good here.
Then there's the satisfaction I keep trying to find in Christian radio rather than the Word or its preaching. Or Christian community. Of course, I always suspected this part would be hard, staying on track. It really has been, but I'm also learning some things about myself along the way.
This aquarium position is so new to me, but I've handled it well, I think, considering my inexperience...
Anyway maybe right now the issue isn't that I need to pursue my religion more (because that motivation certainly isn't working out here) but that I need to step back and stop chasing after some unrighteous things, things that won't produce any fruitfulness.
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