Thankful.

Whenever great things happen, like friends come to visit, or I have amazing quiet times with God, or when I come to some awesome heart-realization, I always go through an immediate slump afterwards.  Like, for instance, my really good friend Amy from DBSP '07 came all the way from TN to visit me for the past few days.  It was beyond wonderful and encouraging to see her after so long a time, we prayed together, ate together, snuggled together and talked and talked about God, summer project memories, our futures... but the moment she left earlier today, I went into robot mode.  Instead of this awesome weekend propelling me into productiveness, I sat and watched movies all day.  Kind of like a drone.  And this happens quite a lot.  It's like I'm worried I'll lose the greatness of whatever moment has passed, like that something great will never happen again, and not doing anything helps me relish in the great moments and leave them behind a little less quickly.  I am just now convicted of this attitude I have, and I feel as if it's a lack of trust that God is faithful.  I have had so many down moments, especially this past year, that I have almost taught myself to stop desiring good things to happen.  And when things like wonderful community happen, I'm surprised almost, and I leave each moment not really believing it will ever happen again.  How did I ever get this perspective?  It don't trust that God is faithful and that He is good.  Plain as that.  But it is assuring to know that the first step in recovery is acknowledging there is a problem.

So apart from all this, I am thankful for this weekend and I praise God for being gracious and exposing me to sweet relationships so that I can keep growing to be like Christ and bring glory to His name.

- Alicia